After the hullabaloo of the Prince concerts this past summer, something occurred that became the catalyst that propelled me to where I am right now.
I got laid off at the end of May. Congratulations to me, I am now a statistic. I can't garner too much sympathy in this arena because there's a large percentage of people who are in the same boat as I.
Against my original mantra to stay at my apartment no matter what the cost, I swallowed my pride, bit the bullet and moved back to Rancho Cucamonga --- with my family --- at the end of September. I'm not quite sure how well I can emphasize it, but this was an extremely difficulty decision for me to make. I lamented about it for months before deciding. What can I say? It's not easy to give up the freedom, autonomy, and independence of 11 years. And frankly, it's not ideal to be a 38 year old single woman living at home with the 'rents. The relationship I had with my parents before I moved out on my own was far different from the one we had afterwards. And the dynamic this time around may not be as hard, but I know it won't be easy. Above all else, though I also know that I'm blessed that I have the option to move home. Most people don't have that opportunity. So I'm very thankful that I have a family who's willing and able to help me when I need them. I'm not about to take that for granted.
I'm going on about 3 weeks at home now --- give or take a few days. The majority of my "life" is now in a 10'x10'x10' storage unit down the street. I'm deeply missing "my space"...missing my apartment and my independent lifestyle. But all in all, the adjustments haven't been too bad.
- I hate the 100˚ heat here. My poor car is parked on the street w/o any shade...he's going to deteriorate quickly exposed to the elements. :(
- I hate that my showerhead running full blast has the same power as someone holding a watering can over my head. If you weren't careful, you could lose a nipple in the shower I had at my apartment...the most awesome water pressure I've ever had.
- I hate that I have to lug my computer up and down the stairs whenever I want to be on the computer while I eat or watch TV. I guess this could be worse... I could have an actual tower setup instead of a laptop...Yeah, that would SUCK ASS.
- I hate that I'm so far away from my regular life in LA and OC. I'm not really trapped in the Inland Empire. I just don't like the thought of going out dancing and then driving an hour just to get home.
- I miss the awesome beach cross-breeze that I had at my apartment. I'm currently having respiratory problems with the dry heat and smog in this area. Quite a switch from the cleaner, cooler, moister beach air.
- I miss my carpeting. It's all hardwood floors and marble here.
- I miss my bed and my couches.
One of the perks to living at home? I get to see my nephews almost every day. That's something that definitely outweighs everything else. I will never get tired of seeing their beautiful faces. There's nothing like having them recognize you and run up to hug you. And there's nothing like having your baby nephew fall asleep in your arms. I'm seeing them grow up...and experience new things. That's the best feeling in the world and right now, I wouldn't trade it.
My salsa sister, Debbie put it best --- "This move will only be as good or as bad as YOU make it. It's all up to you." And she couldn't be more right. Yeah, moving back home after living by myself for 11 years really sucks. Having to get used to living with a houseful of people isn't my idea of fun. BUT this move, is ONLY A TEMPORARY NECESSITY. The next things that happen to me...the next job I get...could lead to the most amazing place/area to move into. It's all in the realm of possibility. I just have to keep being as flexible and as open to things as I can be. Life is fluid, I'm supposed to be able to go with the flow....and see where that flow takes me.
Here's hoping.
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