My Third "Parent"

My Ninang and me (2010)

One of the reasons I decided to move back in with my family was to be able to free myself up for the next few months from the stress of finding a job so I could focus on spending time with my Godmother/Aunt Dolores who's suffering from Cancer. I figured I could drive out to her home in Placentia and cook for her or take her out for Mexican food — her favorite cuisine — try to get her to eat and keep her strength up because her recent chemotherapy sessions were taking their toll on her body and her appetite.

My Ninang lost her battle Cancer last Tuesday, October 18th at around 4am. The Lord called her home to rest and be at peace. And I am devastated.

We never thought she would leave us so soon. Having just realized the true severity of her condition only 3 weeks ago, we all thought she had some time to consider other avenues of treatment. I knew deep down that she was very sick. I knew she didn't have that much time left. But I never thought I only had a matter of weeks or days to spend with her.

I can still hear her voice in my head...saying my name...asking me to massage her legs or bring her a towel or tissue. We all got together at her home tonight to recite the Novena for a loved one's passing. And as is the usual custom, we all ate together after the prayers. Being there tonight felt so strange because I still expected her to come walking down the hall or to be sitting in her big Lazyboy chair in the living room.

My dad, mom and I have been to the house every night this week to pray the Novena with my other aunts and uncles but it just doesn't feel the same being there without her. We go there to visit my relatives who are living there...but there's no real reason to stay anymore --- or so it feels that way.

My Ninang was truly the glue that held this family together. She took care of everyone around her. It some ways, I think she waited until I moved back home with my parents to leave us. She was very concerned that I wasn't working and I was struggling out on my own in Torrance. She once scolded me, "USE YOUR BRAIN!!! Move back in with your mom and dad. They want to help you." That was just her way --- always taking care of me...always making sure I was alright. She was truly my "other parent." She was EVERYONE's "other parent." And even though I witnessed her funeral, her burial, and my mind knows the reality, I still can't believe she's gone. My heart is broken. And I know for certain that things are never going to be the same without her.

Ninang, may you Rest in Peace — I will love you, think of you, and pray for you until the day we meet again.

Dolores G. Paraiso (1941-2011)
Click here to view video montage.